The Scrapbook
by JFresshhh
Summary: Bella was killed in a house fire on Edward's eighteenth birthday. He isolates himself in his room, dwelling on the scrapbook that takes him on a trip down memory lane. A promise is made between the living and dead. OS. AU/AH.


**AN:** Written in two days for the forum, BlushingCheeks. I very much appreciate how one of the moderators allowed me a late entry. Thank you, Kelsie! :D May I say that I had a _bunch_ of ideas for this one-shot - I even tried to do a _happy and fluffy one-shot_. It was so hard! So I went with another story where Bella dies. I guess I have a thing for killing her off? :) And a depressive Edward, eh? He needs comforting, so hear his story! Anyway, I hope you like it!

**DISCLAIMER:** I do not own _Twilight._

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"Even in our sleep, pain which cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart, until, in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom through the awful grace of God." - Aeschylus, Greek Tragedy Poet

-:-

"_In Forks, Washington at 4:34 pm, a house fire killed a young woman. Sources tell us that it was not in cause of a forest fire, but, in fact, an accident in the kitchen. We don't know how the fire ensued, but our knowledge tells us that the young woman suffered from over inhaling the carbon dioxide from the fumes of the fire. They predict that she fainted and hit her head against something because she underwent a concussion, preventing her from any escape. Furthermore, her injuries extend to third degree burns. The young woman was identified at 5:11 pm as Isabella Swan, seventeen years old, daughter of Forks' sheriff, Charlie Swan. Any further information has been disclosed in desire for confidentiality for the father. I'm Christine—"_

I switched the television off. I felt the remote slip from my fingers and I heard the clatter of the fall echo distantly through my ears. The blood in my face drained to leave me stoke-white and my palms moistened from my cold sweat. Even wrapped around three wool blankets and two knitted quilts, my entire body felt as cold as ice. It was like the core of my body had froze, leaving my insides crack and churn as I moved a muscle, deepening my pain.

I was confined in my room under the covers, isolating myself from everyone outside these walls. My family tried to comfort me... but no one, not even God, could convince me that it wasn't my fault. My best friend _died _because of me. How could someone possibly ease my pain? The kitchen fire happened because she was baking me my favorite dessert – her death-worthy brownies... Literally.

I shrank underneath my covers and looked around my empty, dark room. I now understood why Bella felt so uncomfortable in my room the first time she came in here. The room was just so _big_ and I was so small. It was almost intimidating, like the room could consume me. I took a deep breath and looked outside the glass window, overlooking all of the trees that wore a light mist of gloomy fog.

With the a quilt wrapped around my body like a cocoon, I forced myself out of bed, willing to hurt myself even further. I walked over to the closet, digging out the rectangular-shaped gift wrapped in a cornflower blue with a silver-sheathed ribbon glued onto the top-right corner and a mini card attached. I held the gift tightly to my chest as I lithely walked over to my messy bed. I slumped against the headboard with the gift in my lap, lying there untouched. I was reluctant in opening it, indecisive on whether or not I should. But I opened the card that read:

_To: Edward_

_From: Bella_

This was her gift to me; a gift for a person who least deserved it in the entire global and extraterrestrial population. I sighed as I caressed the wrapping with my fingertips, embracing the smoothness of the texture.

Should I open it? It was the final memorabilia that I had of Bella now. I wanted to know what she had gotten me, but I felt rude that I was prying this final gift. This made me wonder what her final death wish was... Ugh, there were too many questions racing through my mind that I began to have a headache. I felt drowsy, too – even with all of my moping around and crying like a dying animal. I took a deep breath.

_Whatever_, I thought. I'm already wounded miles and miles deep. What more could happen? After this self-mutual injury inflicted upon myself, I'll just dwell in the nightmares waiting me when I succumb to the world of dark and blind unconsciousness.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I traced the outline of the box, pinching the sharp corners. I carefully unsheathed each fold, as if it were a delicate flower whose petals were being picked off. I leaned down to set the rectangular-shaped gift in front of my lap, smoothing out the wrapping paper beneath Bella's present.

I clasped my fingers and licked my lips, eager and hesitant at the same time. And as I heard the grandfather clock ding 9 pm, I opened my eyes. At first, everything was blurry and out of its place. I could see two and couldn't properly see the object placed in front of me. My eyebrows puckered as I tried to make out the silhouette of the rectangular shape.

Was it a book? A board game? A box of clothing? I didn't know. My mouth formed into a frown as how I couldn't figure out what on Earth my best friend had gotten me. I let it sit on my comforter as I stared at the blackened shape, my head cocked to the right.

I'd told her I didn't want her to buy me anything. I knew that she wouldn't have gotten me anything too extravagant, observing how much richer my family was than she and her father combined. I'd told her that she didn't actually have to _buy_ me anything, either. Something homemade, perhaps? I was beyond perplexed, at the moment. Finally, I got up with the quilt draped over my shoulders and the shape dangling from the fingertips of my hands.

I took a seat on the floor and leaned against the glass window-wall. I retrieved the object from beneath my quilt and held it up in the air, exposing it to the moonlight. As I discovered what it was, I gasped in utter amazement and disbelief.

A scrapbook.

It had a midnight blue background with light blue and golden flowery stems growing from the bottom, glittery atop the floral design. The top-center had a window-shaped hole with the actually panes inputted into the cover. Behind the bars was a photograph of Bella and I. I stood behind Bella with my arms wrapped around her waist, my bronze-tinted locks falling upon my forehead. Bella was squirming in my hold, her cream-colored arms grasping at my arms, a hundred-watt smile planted on her face from ear to ear. I remember this picture... It was on our last day of our junior year at Forks High, which was only last month.

I sniffled, the tears welling up in my eyes. I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose, swallowing down the pain. I exhaled and quickly opened my eyes, running my stiff fingers through my hair. I sniffled again, and caressed the cover page, inching at the top-right corner to turn it. I held my breath and slowly turned the hard cover to the title page, and I nearly choked right then. It read:

_Edward and Bella: Friends for Life_

Friends for life... If only she knew how short her life would end. I sighed and lazily shook my head, a grim smile taunting my lips. I sniffed and turned the title page to the first picture.

_December 14, 2006_

A photograph of Bella and I sitting on a tree trunk warming up to a crackling fire. Bella was hanging her head back, lightly laughing, I assume. Her face was glowing a mellow yellow and her eyes were bright with excitement, almost as bright as the fire that was forming on her marshmallow that was roasting over the fire. Her laughter was contagious, as I was leaning over, a smile plastered on my face, as well. I was biting into a marshmallow, tearing through the delicate and fluffy skin. On the edge of the photo, I saw parts of the faces of my brothers and sisters, laughing at us or with us. Observing this picture, I take that we were all enjoying ourselves.

I noticed a scrawl beneath the date, a subtitle or description – Bella's curly handwriting. It read:

_December 14, 2006 – Edward tried to stuff as many marshmallows as he could into his mouth._

I darkly laughed once. I'm sure they all found it funny when I puked up spit mixed with marshmallow digest. I licked my lips and my eyes scanned over the page. There were more pictures of us. Jasper who was sitting on the tree trunk to the right of Bella and I, with Alice who was leaning her head on his shoulder. Rose who was leaning back on the palms of her hands on the log, her pearly white teeth gleaming against the fire. And Emmett who was situated in between Rose's legs, stuffing his mouth with s'mores.

I turned the page, curious to see what other memories would make my nightmares even worse.

_March 3, 2007_

It was a photograph of the warehouse on the outskirts of my backyard, the forest, but deep within the moss-covered trees. It was for one of Esme's personal projects to restore broken homes. In this case, the abandoned warehouse that a family left in the late 1800's. Bella was near a ladder in her worn out overalls, beige paint on her magenta-striped long-sleeve. Her hair was caked in paint on the top and on her cute button nose. I was sitting on the edge of the flat roof, my feet dangling in the air, above the steps of the ladder. My facial expression was torn between complete amusement, shock, and fear. My mouth formed an "O" and it seemed like I was ready to do a face-palm. My fingertips were stained with beige paint with the can lying on the floor next to Bella's feet.

The description read:

_March 3, 2007 – Walking under a ladder really is unlucky._

Now I remember... I was going to climb down the ladder, but the paint cans were in the way. I accidentally kicked them off of the roof, causing the paint to spill over on Bella's head, who was walking under the ladder. I was about to pee in my pants because of what happened to Bella and her reaction; I was shocked because of the suddenness of what I'd done; and I was afraid because I was dreading Bella's death-glare and the smoke to blow out of her ears.

The other pictures consisted of Emmett painting Alice's face with a huge brush dipped in forest green, clashing with Alice's soft orange cotton sweater. Jasper was going chasing Rose with a can of lavender, following a picture with Rose chasing Jasper in revenge with two deadly paint brushes in her grasp.

I turned the page again, finalizing this picture for my night's look-see. And when I did flip the page, I almost regretted it.

_September 12, 2008 - Bella's 18th Birthday_

The photograph was of the meadow that Bella and I shared, who solely knew of. Of course, since she and I were the only ones who knew about it, we had to exchange turns using the digital Polaroid professional camera, ignoring Bella's protests that she would function no such thing. I took her to our meadow, for the day before her birthday, because Alice was going to throw a grandeur party where nearly every resident in the nearby town would attend. She and I wanted to spend time alone – best friends and all – and this was the only place that I could think of in which she wouldn't reject to.

The meadow was absolutely marvelous. It wasn't as beautiful as my Bella, of course, but it surely was on my list of what I could stare at all day. The grass was greenest here, in my opinion. The flowers were of all soft colors of lavender, carnation pink, baby blue, pale yellow, etc. The bouquets were scattered all over the meadow, embellishing the gorgeous perfection. No moss was in sight for Bella to wrinkle her nose to. No gray fog lightly overlooking the meadow for Bella to complain about. No nearby highways or houses to make noise that would ruin the comfortable silence. There was nothing out of place about our secret meadow.

There was a picture of me, lounging on a tree branch. I wore a lazy grin, one leg on the branch and the other dangling in the air. I had pine cones in my hands. Juggling them, maybe? Leaves were trapped in my tumbleweed of hair, which females seemingly were attracted to. My eyes glowed a shade of green, happiness embodied in my irises. Emeralds, Bella had pointed out endless times. She described them as the gem of emeralds.

There was a picture of Bella sitting cross-legged in a bed of lilies near the pond. Her white smile radiated behind her pink and plump lips and her chestnut hair that I could tangle my fingers in looked so soft and smooth, with tinges of red that shined against the glaring sunlight. Her eyes were as brown as ever, like chocolate that I could drown in for miles and miles. Bella's eyes were my window to her soul – as if when I got lost into them in a stare, I could think what she thought or I could feel what she felt.

Bella was one stunning creature, like the Greek Goddess, Aphrodite, who was known for her beauty. Not only was Bella beautiful, but she was one of the most intelligent and selfless people I have ever met. And I would never meet another person like her. Women like Bella aren't people you can just stumble upon out of thin air, despite the fact that that's how we met – Bella ran into me in the hallways and tripped over on her own two feet.

I solemnly closed the book, keeping to my promise that the third picture would be my last for the night. And also, because I couldn't take being reminded of these happy memories. Angry with myself, I firmly took the scrapbook in my hands, and threw it onto my bed. I was going to slouch right there on the floor, near my window, until I saw a piece of paper fly out from the scrapbook. I watched as it whispered onto the ground. I read some words, one reading _Edward_. I gasped and crawled over to the paper. I scrambled back to the window with the piece of paper in my hands. I raised it up to the moonlight and read the writing on the single sheet of paper.

_Dear Edward_, it read.

_You, my best friend, are now eighteen. Can you believe it? You're an adult now, ready to take on the world and wrap it around your finger like the man you've grown to be. To this day, you still take my breath away. You're incredibly kind, very smart, and (cue audience gasp, okay?) devastatingly handsome. Of course, you already know that, because I had to save you from all of those swooning girls through the years, especially high school. With all of these "dashing" qualities, I know for a fact that you'll excel in life. I'm eager to see how your future will turn out, and I hope that I'm there to see it, side by side, hand in hand. No matter what happens, nothing will tear us apart. You promised me that we'll be friends for life. But I promise you that you and I will be friends even after life, death no barrier between us. I will keep to my promise, Edward._

_Love forever and always,_

_Bella_

Forever and always, she'll love me. Forever and always, we'll be friends. And yet, I knew that friendship couldn't suffice my need for her. I admit it. I had fallen in love with my best friend, Isabella Marie Swan. I could imagine spending the rest of my life with her as my beloved wife and children's dearest mother. I could picture us growing old together, hand in hand. But that fire that was caused to my expense, snatched that future away from me like a melted chocolate bar slipping through a boy's butter fingers. And now I could only dream of her exchanging love for me.

So as I let sleepiness consume me, I crawled into bed. I drew all of the covers around me, like a second skin. I clutched the scrapbook and letter to my chest, right over my hear, for dear life. _These_ memories and _this _letter is what will help me keep going through life. Bella Swan wanted me to succeed through it and I will. As I fell into my world of dreams, I swear I could hear a faint whisper my name, "Edward." And before I closed my eyes to enter my dream world, I saw only Bella with her radiating beauty.

_I love you, Bella_, I thought.

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**AN:** So...? Yes, no, maybe so? Remember, written in two days, so I had to try and wrap it up. But I hope you liked it all the same! Please, tell me what you think about it, cause I'm not sure if I'm capturing this whole 'death' concept correctly.

Don't be afraid to hit that REVIEW button! You'll get to wrap your arms around a crying Edward! Appealing?

- Jen x


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